Love Taken for Granted

I am blessed to have a husband who is patient and compassionate. He realizes the sheer amount of work associated with having had four children in five years and he expects me to put their needs before his. He knows that rising before the sun in order to shower and dress before the little ones arise can be challenging for a mother that has been up all night with a new baby. He realizes that getting out for my daily run is not as easy as it once was. He also understands that having all these children takes a toll on a woman’s body. He tells me I am beautiful every day. He doesn’t comment on the stretch marks, the weight gain, the pajamas still being worn at dinnertime or the hair that hasn’t been brushed since yesterday. He is a treasure but at times I know I take him for granted.

What I am about to say may be considered politically incorrect but hey, this is a modesty blog and modesty is nothing if not politically incorrect these days!

Men are visual creatures. They delight in seeing their wives dressed nicely and in decent physical shape. This is how God created them. Being such, I believe we have a duty as wives to attempt to appear lovely for them. God created my feminine nature to desire affection. How would I feel if my husband withheld that affection because he was tired, which he often is. I assure you, I would suffer.

I also think, and this is really politically incorrect, that we wives have a role to play in countering the effects of our sex-saturated culture. Our husbands are assaulted each day through the media with unchaste images and suggestions. It cannot be avoided. Even if you turn off cable, as we have done for a variety of reasons, and closely guard your Internet usage, men will still be confronted by other women on the street and in the workplace who are scantily clad or by sexual images on billboards. This is not their fault. I believe this is a huge burden for men these days to carry.

So, what can we wives do other than promoting chastity within our families and communities? We can dress alluringly for our husbands, be affectionate when they need, and compliment them. When we make an effort to be tender with them and to keep up our appearances, we nurture the sexual-love aspects of our marriages and help keep our husbands from being distracted by the world’s temptations to sin against chastity. And no, I’m not giving men a pass. They have an obligation to exercise restraint and to conquer their immoral temptations. Absolutely. But this is a difficult time we are living in, for men and women, and as loving spouses, if there is a way that we can assist our significant others in battling evil we have an obligation to do so.

As I mentioned above, I am grateful to have been given a husband who is understanding and loves me in spite of my flaws. In turn, I know I ought to make the little sacrifices required to catch his eye and his fancy when at all feasible. This may not always be possible but how many times when I could have gone the extra mile have I not out of laziness and an assurance that he wouldn’t complain. In fact, as I write this, it is after noon on a Sunday and I am still unshowered, my hair unbrushed and my clothes unchanged. On that note, I will go now and attempt to practice what I preach. Have a lovely weekend!